It is critical to have a conversation with prospective partners, before there is a relationship, where you discuss how “out” you are wiling to be.
Set expectations early, so that everyone knows what things will look like and can consider the ramifications.
One of our intrepid Unicorn Hunters ran into the idea of swinging/open relationships/polyamory.
Much to their mutual surprise, neither party completely dismissed the idea (maybe someone did the first time, but they came back to it later, and finally the idea stuck).
They have been together for over a year and are open-minded, tolerant, ethical, progressive people.
Their relationship has some very good points, they genuinely care for each other, are committed, and tend to be open to new experiences.
You posted that you and your partner are ready to open up your relationship and find a special person to add to it. One thing that many of them said was that you are a “Unicorn Hunter”.
If anyone has ever described the idea of societal privilege to you, it’s kinda like that.The problem with this is even though there are consequences, and they are often big, this is not setting a boundary. Upon further reflection, you consider this option, “Hey, I’ll just make an excuse. Are you going to get U a hotel room for the duration of your family’s stay? Presumably U spends time in your home and will feel isolated for the duration of the visit. In all of these cases you are faced with the same situation, U is a “dirty secret”, and while NONE of you intended to set things up to make them feel that way, each of you WILL feel the pressure that is generated by that truth.