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The only reason I piped up on this is because I lost my virginity just after turning 14 because my mom never discussed things like that with me. I had my twins at 19, but my mom was strict until I was 17. I want my sons to know that they can talk to me about anything and when the "sex talk" does come up I will explain to them just how expensive children are. It seems like parenting is much harder when your children become preteens and teenagers. And I certainly never felt like I had to be rebellious and date someone just to tick off mom and dad, because I don't think it would have. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you should downplay the boyfriend issue.
I'm sure she didn't think she needed to at such an early age, but never the less it happened and it is something I wish I could change. I didn't even know she was meeting this older boy till she told me she was pregnant. (01/20/2008) By Tanya By No, I think that it is the perfect age for a girl to talk to boys. I wouldn't forbid it, because that would make it a "Big Deal" all of a sudden.
It is quite eye opening that starting down a path that even she doesn't understand at this point could take her places she doesn't really want to go.
Encourage her that there is plenty of time later for boys, and let her get more involved in a hobby, sport, activity, or interest instead. I think "having a boyfriend" can mean different things to different people.
Around here if you are "going out", it just means you tell people you are "going out", you talk on the phone and maybe go hang around the mall under parental supervision. Again, a lot of this depends on the maturity level of the child. Even when I was old enough to have a boy over (only 1 throughout high school) we had to remain in the living room or in the garden (if parents were there). (08/28/2007) By Michawn I think you should be proud of a daughter that is comfortable and trusting enough to come to you first. Forbidding entirely, in my opinion, is asking for trouble. I have 3 boys and my older two which are twins just recently turned 12.
It's wonderful that you have open communication with your daughter, and the biggest issue would be to "keep" it that way. I'd advise her that she has plenty of time for these things, don't rush into anything, and keep it simple. If we were allowed upstairs in my room the door had to remain open. 13 for a boyfriend, sure, if you want to become a grandma really early! Why not ask her to describe how this would change her present status with you and the boy. Some 17-year-olds are not ready, I know some of them too. My husband and I have set the rule of no dating until 16.
For you, I'd suggest not making too big of an issue of it so that she stops talking. Perhaps negotiate the parameters and invite him over to see how he feels about it all. So, as a result, she's not a good mother to the 2 she has now. I know this may sound like "Oh another naive parent", but if you knew some of our conversations you would think different. I am not saying they can't have girls as friends, but I feel school is way more important. Boys weren't a big deal for me in high school and I can't tell you how thankful I am for that.
Personally our rule is no "dating" until you are 16. Yes, I think 13 is too young to be dating, but to simply be "talking" (as some of the young folks say) is okay (i.e. I think this is a normal part of socialization and as long as the situation remains innocent (talking only and with time limits, phone curfew, etc.), it'll be okay. We as parents can only hope we instill enough in our children for them to make good choices.It is young for a dedicated relationship, but not for a relaxed teaming up in an adolescent society. My mom and I didn't and still don't at age 36. He told me he doesn't like her like that and I do believe him. I always had lots of male family members my age, and I was comfortable having lots of male friends.